United - ogres, prettyboys, koreans etc

We're moments away from the defining match of the season. The Champions League Final between Manchester United and Barcelona to be precise. Both teams are currently, in my opinion, the two best football clubs in the world and are on top form at the moment. Barcelona, with the likes of Messi, Henry and Eto'o leading the attack look a formidable threat to United's quadruple hopes. But have no fear United fans because United also have their kick-ass trident attack.

Leading the trident attack is Wayne Rooney. He has been prolific in front of goal this season. Despite not scoring a lot of goals, he has missed lots of chances which means that his selfless behaviour, which at times are wonderful for the team but not always, is gone and is now more of a deadlier predator. Apart from that, hehas also starred in three movies where he being the beast gets the girl and rules as king in the end. Don't know what I'm talking about? Well just take a look at the picture below taken from his latest movie:

Shrek 3: Pursuit of the Triple Successive BPL wins

As support to the attack, Cristiano Ronaldo and Park Ji Sung. We are not unfamiliar with Cristiano Ronaldo's skills as a footballer. His thunderous earth shattering freekicks, his dribbles, speed, pace, acceleration, deadliness in front of goal and good looks *EEEEKKKKK* (please detect the sarcasm) makes him almost the perfect footballer. But football isn't the only sport he plays. Recently he was called up to join his national side's, Portugal, Olympic diving team:

Verdict: 10 out of 10. Perfect timing, composure and most importantly believable (if you were a sucker). Go for Gold Cristy!

Park Ji Sung, despite being underrated in England is much more of a cult figure in Asia especially in his homeland South Korea. To me he is the most hard working player n the United team. You can see him run up and down the flanks chasing after the ball relentlessy and winning. Asked in an interview what his plans were after football he said: "I think I'm gonna follow in Eric Cantona's steps and act" and act he will. Posts on fan boy/girl pages are raving about the prospect of him appearing on Korean dramas:

 

Sim aku post pasal Korean LOL!

On the bench we've got two othe prolific strikers - Tevez and Berbatov. Both if summed up cost $50 million. Man I wish somebody paid that amount of money just to have me sit on a bench for a large fraction of 90 minutes every week. Berbatov and Tevez play very important roles while on the pitch but because of their public behaviour, managerSir Alex Ferguson, decided enough was enough and is gonna bench them possibly for 60 minutes or for the whole game.

 Berbatov (some might know him as count) was caught in the streets sucking blood out of the necks of United Supporters.

 Asked why he did this: "I just wanted to pwn that guy - Edward's ass!"

Tevez has also risen dispute in the United camp asking for more money as he was jealous of his brother earning more than him:

Pictured: Tevez (left) and his brother - that dude from Red Hot Chilli Peppers (right)

*Stay*

So with that amount of firepower it's safe to say United are gonna win it tonight!